Title: Wasted Times
Grade: 2-year college
A note from the youth artist about their submission
In my 9×12 collage “Wasted Times”, I use graphite on paper to depict and summarize the harsh realities of incarceration and redemption for young Mexican-American youth like myself. The main element in the drawing portrays an image of myself, the artist, kneeling down in a space surrounded by powerful symbols which create layers of my human essence in a world that labels me a criminal, gangbanger and menace to society.
Wasted Times is a collection of representations which aim to humanize what is on the surface, a brown-eyed Chicano boy with tattoos on his skin and scars that silence the chapters of an untold story, my story. On the left-hand corner there is a woman with indigenous adornments that resembles Our Lady of Guadalupe. The face of the woman happens to be my mother. This symbol highlights motherhood/womanhood adversities, because within every single little Mexican girl and Mexican woman lies a version of a loving and compassionate Lady of Guadalupe.
The rest of the collage is filled with symbols that tell the story of my life and the battles I have faced. Above me is a hummingbird, representing Huitzilopochtli, the Aztec god of war. To me, it symbolizes the warrior spirit needed to survive because life itself is a struggle and a constant battle. Next to it is the V for Vendetta mask, which represents the fight for freedom from systems that can keep people trapped, whether through incarceration, probation, poverty, or other circumstances. In the background stands the front entrance of Orange County Juvenile Hall, the place where I have spent the last seven consecutive years of my life, from age sixteen to twenty-three. The number 331 appears as a reminder of the street where this chapter of my life has taken place.
The scroll reading Wasted Times reflects the feeling of lost time rather than time wasted. Although I have grown and learned during my incarceration, there is still a sense of years that can never be returned. The corn and orange represent my Mexican heritage and honor my mother, whose sacrifices and hard work in the fields helped shape who I am today. The smiling and crying faces on the dice symbolize the highs and lows of incarceration, moments of hope, growth, pain, and sadness that have all become part of my journey.
The jail cell, along with the toilet and sink combination commonly found in correctional facilities, represents my physical existence within confinement. Surrounding smoke, cracks in the ground, and dark figures symbolize the inner demons I have struggled to overcome. These battles connect back to the hummingbird and the idea of war, not against other people, but against myself, my fears, my mistakes, and the circumstances that have challenged me. Hidden between the toilet and my right leg is a broken heart with a bandage on its head. This symbol represents my struggle with depression, unanswered questions, and the emotional pain that often accompanies incarceration.
Ultimately, Wasted Times is not about seeking sympathy or making excuses. It is an honest reflection of identity, resilience, and survival. Through this collage, I challenge viewers to look beyond labels and stereotypes and see the humanity behind them. While my story includes incarceration, loss, and hardship, it is also a story of growth, self-discovery, cultural pride, and the ongoing fight to find purpose and redemption. The piece serves as both a record of where I have been and a reminder that my future is still being written.
